


the wvonder an vwariety a life

by orphan_account



Series: UFUT [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pesterlog, Petstuck, dave/cronus moirallegiance, ufutverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 20:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/642814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>UFUTverse pale fluff, take two. Cronus is bored. Dave is also bored. CC takes the opportunity to explain a headcanon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the wvonder an vwariety a life

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the UFUTverse, a petstuck AU featuring the Strider brothers and their young adopted trolls Karkat and Sollux as well as a recently arrived teenage Cronus. It's set at some time post UFUT chapter 27, and will likely not make sense unless you have read the original story. It contains Dave and Cronus in a pale relationship. If this wigs you the fuck out, I don't blame you one tiny little bit, and I also suggest you don't read further.

CA: hey davwe  
CA: dave  
CA: sorry   
TG: cronus every time you put a volkswagen in my name a little more of my soul dies   
CA: i said i wvas sorry!  
CA: anywvay im bored  
CA: so bored  
CA: its possible i havwe nevwer been this bored in my entire existence.  
CA: im reduced to readin internet gossip sites  
CA: did you knowv taylor swvift has wvebbed toes?   
TG: i did not  
TG: now i can die in peace  
TG: for now my life is blessed  
TG: what do you want ampora spit it out i got shit to do   
CA: wvhat are you doin?   
TG: getting the buick looked at  
TG: shits been making a weird and ominous noise  
TG: im hoping they tell me its just possessed of devils and doesnt need a new goddamn front end kit   
CA: so youre sittin in a wvaitin room readin old copies a Newvswveek from like 1999 right?   
TG: never type newsweek again   
TG: or powwow  
TG: just never ever type those words  
TG: they said itd be like another twenty minutes   
CA: powvwvowv  
CA: that looks fantastic, i dunno wvhat your problem is   
TG: soul dying here   
CA: like i said youre also bored to tears right?  
CA: so entertain me   
CA: an in the process also entertain yourself.   
TG: boy does that sound wrong  
TG: fine  
TG: what do you want me to talk about   
CA: wvhy do you havwe red eyes?   
TG: woah ok its personal question time all up ins   
CA: no i mean theyre awvesome! i just nevwer sawv that on a hume before. or orange eyes. wvhat givwes?   
TG: get ready for the improbable genetics lecture   
TG: the strider lalonde clan is famed for its fucked up eye colors  
TG: on the lalonde side you got your literal actual purple and pink  
TG: we think a couple generations back someone had a fling with a my little pony or something  
TG: got the offwhite hair and the trippy as fuck eyes lodged in the genome  
TG: short answer we got no fucking clue but its always been like this  
TG: means both bro and me have some problems with bright light thus the ill shades   
CA: i thought that wvas just a fashion statement.   
TG: it is  
TG: it states  
TG: ow its too bright i gotta wear shades  
TG: ok your turn  
TG: the fuck is up with those weird little frilly things on the sides of your neck that sometimes stick out  
TG: they cant be gills that makes no sense   
CA: wvowv, rude.  
CA: no they aint gills  
CA: i mean i guess at one point they might a been like back in the dawvn a seatroll evwolution or somethin but wvho the fuck knowvs, our history is a mysterious enigma an all.   
TG: yes  
TG: you are an unknowable figure of intrigue   
CA: damn straight  
CA: anywvay theyre vwestigial or somethin, they sense shit like salinity an chemical contaminants in the wvater. most a the time they stay closed cause theyre sensitivwe as fuck an it hurts like a bitch to get stuff in em.   
TG: huh  
TG: so theyre like  
TG: feelers   
CA: technically i guess  
CA: they act up sometimes wvhen i got a cold, like theyre tryin to make up for me not bein able to smell nothin.   
TG: pfff ok mental image   
CA: youre laughin at my pain, dave, that aint vwery considerate a you.   
TG: no no   
TG: no laughing here  
TG: merely acknowledging the wonder and variety of life  
TG: and neck feelers   
CA: an wveird eyes   
TG: and glowy purple freckle things   
CA: an pathetic little wveenie nub teeth   
TG: better weenie nub teeth than a mouthful of freaky translucent icepicks yo   
CA: spoken like a landdwveller wvho aint nevwer had to catch fish for a livwin   
TG: ok ill give you that  
TG: hang on mechanic dude is back   
CA: ok good luck.  
CA: hey dave  
CA: can you get me a latte on your wvay home?   
TG: sweet the car gods smile upon us  
TG: said its just a wheel balance thingy   
TG: i guess thats within the realm of possibility   
TG: no sugar though youre supposed to be cutting that out   
CA: daaaaaave   
TG: you can have that splenda shit   
CA: it dont taste the same.   
TG: whiners dont get lattes cronus its an axiom of the universe   
CA: no it aint, you just made that up.   
TG: well known fact  
TG: ok back in a bit   
CA: ok  
CA: dave?  
CA: thanks.


End file.
